1. |
Willy Sim
04:06
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Willy Sim
Mama kicked the dog and the dog bit the cat
And the cat scratched Sammy and Sammy scratched back
Then Sally hit Sammy and Dad came home
And Mama screamed ‘I just can’t handle this alone’
Then the neighbour came in screaming ‘what’s this din
I’ve got to get some sleep for the love of sin'
Then Dad got mad and he socked him in the jaw
And now someone’s gone off to fetch the law
But Willy don’t hang around here no more
But he’s down in the garden by the pickett fence
Where he employs his own defence
He’s got daisies growing around his feet
He’s been sitting down there for nearly a week
And the rain comes down and it soaks into the ground
And the flaky snow falls and the stars shine down
On little Willy Sim mischievious grin
As he sits there playing his melodian
What’s this crazy world, I got nerves of steel
Iron muscles in my stomach and I can’t feel
And there’s battles on one plane and wars on another
And friend hits friend and brother hits brother
And the red lights are flashing and the ambulance screams
The neighbour’s just got mangled in the washing machine
And Dad’s thrown a stink ‘cause the tele’s on the blink
And Sally’s got her pet rat in the kitchen sink
But Willy don’t hang around here no more
What’s this crazy world, I don’t know what’s real
Life in the city is a low down deal
There’s a shortage of passion and a shortage of fire
And everybody’s worried and everybody’s tired
There’s a cat fight on the landing and a car crash on the street
And Mama’s got a headache and she can’t get to sleep
There’s a riot in the alley and the church bells are ringing
And the neighbour’s gone and taken up opera singing
And Dad’s had enough and he’s thinking about retirement
And all her ever talks of is a change of environment
And if that’s not all, well I beg your pardon
But what’s that bloody racket down in the garden
Shutup little Willy Sim, won’t you stop that din
But he keeps on playing his melodian
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2. |
Man With The Hat
02:53
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The Man With The Hat
She could have had the man with the porsche
The thoroughbred horse or the mansion of course
She could have had the man with the guile
The corporate style or the fortunate smile
But she knew the lines, she'd heard them before
From the dark scheming mind of the man by the door
She knew that she couldn't stand much more of that
So she fell in love with the man with the hat
She could have had the man with the grin
The pink double chin or the double pink gin
She could have had the man with the cash
The stockmarket crash or the heroin stash
But she knew the tricks and the carefully laid traps
He had no disguise did the man with the hat
He had no defences, no trappings of war
She could see just exactly what she was in for
And she fell in love with the man with the hat
How about that, the man with the hat
They sat there indulging in yikkety yak
While the sun shone so kindly on this and on that
But she could have had the man with the charms
The burglar alarms or the antelope farms
She could have had the romanticist
Or the kind bigamist that no one could resist
They all gazed upon her with envy and awe
She'd never been quite so enchanted before
The men gazed around just to see where she sat
But she gazed at none but the man with the hat
But she could have had the man with the mind
Who understood time, who drank too much wine
She could have had any man in the room
The wealthy tycoon or the healthy young goon
They loved her for this and they loved her for that
They called out her name but she didn't call back
She loved them a bit with a love that was slack
For she had her mind on the man with the hat
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3. |
Hole In The Hedge
02:48
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Hole in the Hedge
She snuck through the hole in the hedge
So she could visit her neighbour's husband
She got through the window and into his bed
And they flopped around like two fish out of water
Then she came home to her own dear one
Who stood there solemnly watering cabbages
He'd not an inkling of what she had done
But her mind was full of love's rampant ravages
Now her own dear one was a grump in the morning
Complaining of how his life was so boring
Thinking about his worries and strife
Thinking about his life and his wife
But she was lurking with bottles of valium
Plotting a plan for constraining and framing him
She put a pill in his cup of tea
And sent him outside to water the peas
Then she snuck through the hole in the hedge
So she could visit her neighbour's husband
She got through the window and into his bed
And they flopped around like two hippos in springtime
Then she came home to her own dear one
Who'd fallen asleep between two rows of cabbages
He'd not an inkling of what she had done
But her mind was full of love's rampant ravages
Then she goes out to buy a new dress
To forget her shame and her husband hopping
But knowing she never could ever confess
Finds that there is no comfort in shopping
So she comes home to her own dear one
Only to find that there's nobody home
He's not in the garden watering peas
Picking the peaches or pruning the trees
So she snuck through the hole in the hedge
So she could visit her neighbour's husband
But there was no room for her in his bed
He was flopping around with her husband instead
Oh she wailed, look what has prevailed
I am framed by my own game
I am a fool for breaking the rule
I promise I'll never be naughty again
But they didn't hear they were lost in their spasms
Shrieks and cries and loud orgasms
They were lost to love's rampant ravages
She was left to water the cabbages
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4. |
River of Life
03:32
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The River of Life
She was born in a middle class town
She could have gone up, she could have gone down
But she just went around and around
On a downward spiral
One morning so fair and fine
She stole away while the moon did shine
And strayed on down the wayward line
Southwards of survival
She could have been a lady
Could have been a wife
But she fell into the river of life
Swimming in a pool of trouble and strife
She really loved the danger
But the river of life it rolls and flows
Down by the banks where the brambles gro.
Swimming around in trouble and strife
Way down low in the river of life
Over hills of thorns and valleys of scorn
Rambling like she was gypsy born
Travelling on through weather and storm
Without a thought for danger
But she was young and looking for fun
Dreaming of things she'd never done
So lost in sweet oblivion
She welcomed in the stranger
But the stranger he was a wanton rake
For he took her money and he called her a fake
And shook her round like an old earthquake
And left her there for plunder
But a heart gone down might never be found
Might lie in the dirt and roll around
But she was always on the rebound
And never would go under
And so the women of character wins in the end
The river of life will be your friend
Not frail of heart, but a true upstart
The river of life has made her
And like a flood she did surely rise
High as the hills and the clear blue skies
She never was a lady, but she was wise
And nothing much would change her
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5. |
Sunbeam Queen
02:58
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Sunbeam Queen
Sunhats, sunblock, lock up your skin with a padlock
She used to be a streaker on the Costa Rica
She used to be a stunner when she lived down under
On the gold coast, she would lie there and roast
And in Fiji, she was done to a tee
With a suntan on the rantan
And with what she was wearing she should have been banned
Although the sun’s gone out and the sky’s getting greyer
There’s still a hole in the ozone layer
She used to be an angel or a beauty queen
But she got attacked by a sunbeam
Sunhats, sunscreen
She got attacked by a sunbeam
The police tried to catch her in Madagascar
And in Biarritz for exposing her tits
And in Bermuda, she just got ruder
She showed her bare bum to every person
On the shoreline, on the coastline
Anywhere in the world in the sunshine
They tried to tell her, they tried to warn her
Of melanoma, for the beachcomber
Her skin was tinder, burnt to a cinder
A concentration, of radiation
But she said, fair skin is not in
She said, it looks sick -- anaemic
The sun would glisten, she wouldn’t listen
To be brown was her only ambition
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6. |
Work On That Man
03:02
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Work on that Man
Baby's got the blues he's been down for a year
Now his motor's revving slow and it needs repair
Mama don't think that it's worth me trying
Says it's gonna take too much overtime
I'm gonna work on that man
I'm gonna fix him up soon as I can
Since he got his gears locked in reverse
The situation's got bad and it could get worse
Well he's not a bad starter when the weather is hot
But he soon packs up in them winter frosts
He's got a leaky radiator and a worn out generator
And sooner or later he's gonna rot
I'm gonna work on that man
I'm gonna fix him up fast as I can
Cause this high class living costs such a lot
You have to learn to make the best of what you've got
And I ain't got no use for automatic transmission
Or those fancy new models in perfect condition
If I can keep his old engine running reasonably smooth
Cause I don't want a man to look at I want one to use
I'm gonna work on that man
Maybe I'll panelbeat his old tin can
But those dents and scratches don't bother me
Just as long as he can get me from A to B
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7. |
Mary Popped Her Cork
02:33
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Mary Popped her Cork
Everything was cool everything was bliss
Never thought a thing could be as cool as this
Till Mary popped her cork, yeh, Mary flipped her lid, yeh
Now everything's gone run a-muck
And she never says please and she always says Fuck
Everything was hazy, everything was lazy
Turn around twice and everything's gone crazy
Cause Mary popped her cork, yeh, Mary flipped her lid, yeh
Now everything has come unstuck
And she never says please and she always says Fuck
Why do you think, she's so strange
Too many Australian soap operas have gone into her brain
Too many jelly beans too much beer
I tried to tell her once but she said Get Out Of Here
Why do you think she's flipped her loop
Too many Californian prosperity consciousness raising groups
Too much cheap wine and chocolate cake
I tried to tell her once but she said Go jump in the lake
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8. |
Bastard
01:36
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Bastard.
How could I give my heart to a bastard like that
Please Mr bastard, can I have my heart back
Too much fiction and not enough fact, well
Love isn't blind but it can't see around corners
How could I give my money to a Bastard like that
Please Mr bastard, can I have my money back
I didn't pay for all of that crap, well
Love isn't blind but it's got the wrong glasses on
I tried to live in an innocent haze
Away from the blues and the low down days
But gone are the highs and the passionate sighs
When there's too many lies well true love dies, dies
How could I give my time to a bastard like that
Please Mr bastard can I have my time back
I didn't want to spend it like that, well
Love isn't blind but I think it's got dyslexia
Love isn’t blind but it’s got the wrong glasses on
Love isn’t blind but it can’t see around corners
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love
Money, money, money, money, money, money, money
Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard
Love isn’t blind but it can’t see around corners
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9. |
Westbound Highway
03:11
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Westbound Highway
I lost my heart on the Westbound Highway
I lost my heart on the Westbound Highway one
Do you know did somebody find it
Did they put it in the lost and found
Did they put it in the lost and found
Keep it safely waiting in some one horse town
I lost my heart in a careless moment
I lost my heart in an unwatched hour
Walking down the road my head in a dream
Must have fallen down though I didn't see
Foolish be my distraction
I'll never find a heart like that one
For if it should be torn apart, you know
All it's love will turn to sorrow
And I'll have to find another heart to borrow
And if it should be treated bad, you know
All it's love will turn to sadness
And I'll have to find another source of gladness
Well I've got a searchlight and a full enquiry
I'm looking for my heart it's a red and fiery one
Have you seen it, it might get lonely
Have you seen it, it might get cold
Have you seen it, it might get exposure
Have you seen it, it might get old
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10. |
MacKenzie Song
03:30
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The Mackenzie Song
I've mustered from Southland through Central and North
In that rough barren country of tussock and gorse
And I've listened to tales that the old shearers tell
And passed them along with me own tales as well
Mackenzie, Mackenzie was that you I saw
Roaming them back hills just up from Benmore
With fifty-odd sheep and a good shepherd's dog
Was it your ghost in the morning fog
They tell of Mackenzie sheep stealer they say
He stole squatter's sheep and he drove them away
With one strong eyed dog , who hypnotised sheep
To a far distant land where no white man had been
Some say he was a criminal some say a good man
Put down by the law and his dog it was damned
Well they took him to prison but he set himself free
Then they took him again his dog hung from a tree
Those high country gales that blow through the night
Where the musterers camp in the fire's dim light
They often bring sounds way off in the dark
Like a lone shepherd's whistle and a lone sheep dog's bark
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Kath Tait London, UK
Bio: Kath Tait is a songwriter from New Zealand, living in London. She writes about her life as a carer, a hippy, an itinerant bard and a wholefood freak. Described as ‘wonky and eccentric’ she is an empathetic and intelligent lyricist.
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