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Star Stalker

from Lentils by Kath Tait

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lyrics

Star Stalker

I’m a star stalker, I like to stalk a star
I stalk ‘em while I walk, I stalk ‘em in my car
I stalk ‘em like a hawk, I stalk ‘em just to talk
I stalk ‘em with a knife and fork !

I write on a blackboard, with a piece of chalk
A list of all the stars I’d like to stalk
Mickey Rourke, Michael York, and Bjork
And (if I get desperate) Bob Hawke.

But I’m always in misery
For though I stalk a star, no one stalks me
I could have been a star, but I sank before I rose
Which is why I don’t get stalked, I suppose.

When I first started stalking, I did lots of walking
But I could not walk far, so I stalked Stephen Hawking
I said, “Look here, Stephen, I’m only gawking”
The cops took me away in a car.

I’m such an avid stalker, I even stalked a stork
The stork began to squawk, I felt like such a dork
When it chased me all the way from Senegal to Cork
Now I'm hiding in a cupboard in New York.

I’m a corker of a stalker, I went to Majorca
Where I stalked Bjork and I pricked her with my fork
But Bjork began to squawk, even louder than the stork
I stuffed her cakehole with a cork.

credits

from Lentils, released July 18, 2019

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Kath Tait London, UK

Bio: Kath Tait is a songwriter from New Zealand, living in London. She writes about her life as a carer, a hippy, an itinerant bard and a wholefood freak. Described as ‘wonky and eccentric’ she is an empathetic and intelligent lyricist.

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